


Silver Linings

by red_lasbelin



Category: TOLKIEN J. R. R. - Works, The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Friends to Lovers, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Third Age
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-30
Updated: 2015-08-30
Packaged: 2018-04-18 02:42:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4689428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/red_lasbelin/pseuds/red_lasbelin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Glorfindel's hurt (and a little lost), but Erestor's there and he remembers that sometimes it is good to take a risk.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Silver Linings

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Aglarien](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aglarien/gifts).



> Aglarien asked for a Third Age Imladris story with one of the pairing is lost & hurt. A nice romance with a happy ending. 
> 
> The muses decided they wanted their own take on the prompts, but I hope it all adds up to something you enjoy, Agie. *hugs*

The first thing Glorfindel noticed upon waking was that his head hurt. The second was that he was in the Halls of Healing. He’d visited the halls often enough to recognized the high ceiling, the rows of tidy beds and the scent of herbs. This left him with a feeling of unease, because he didn’t know why he was there. He sat up, too quickly as he found to his dismay, and had to reach for the short, wooden railing on his bed for balance.

His movement alerted a healer organizing the medicine cabinet, and she stopped to cross the room quickly and put a hand on his shoulder. “Be still. No sudden movements, my lord,” she said, kind but with authority, the kind he instinctually recognized.

“Glorfindel,” he corrected. The title sounded wrong in this life. He stayed still, the carved whorls of wood under his hands grounding as he focused on her. She looked like she would have answers. “What happened?”

 “Your horse threw you, Glorfindel.” There was only a slight hesitation before his name but she moved on briskly. “The men who brought you in said she was frightened.”

“Nîdh? Is she all right?” Glorfindel tried to remember what happened but couldn’t. “Why can’t I remember?”

“When you hit the ground, your head struck a rock. It isn’t uncommon to temporarily forget the event when head injuries are involved. And yes, your men have her housed back in the stables.”

He let go of the railing and touched his head carefully – there was a hard lump on the left side of his skull and it was very tender. “Well, that explains the headache,” he said, grimacing.

She gave him a sympathetic look. “Yes, I’m sure. You will most likely have headaches over the next few days while you heal. The memory should return too, but you’re not to do anything very strenuous, physically or mentally.”

“Thank you…” He paused, unsure of her name. She noticed the hesitation and smoothly filled it. “I’m Sídhel. I’m one of the healers on duty today.”

“Nice to meet you, Sídhel. Though I’d rather it be under different circumstances.”

Sídhel laughed. “I meet a lot of people this way. And you’ll be all right, which is the important thing. Lord Elrond said so, and he’s the best healer I know. Though I am to tell you that he’s putting you down for a couple days of leave.”

“Leave?” Glorfindel protested. “I don’t have time, there’s too much to be done. And I’m fine, really.”

“Your head is going to ache and things are going to be fuzzy for a while. Your balance may take a while to come back to you as well. Lord Elrond knows what he’s doing, you should listen. You don’t have to stay here, but you do need to be careful. And no horseback riding either for a week at least. If you hit your head again, there could be permanent damage.”

Glorfindel wanted to argue but he’d learned by now when something was a losing battle. “No riding,” he conceded. He wasn’t going to promise more than that.

She clearly expected more of a fight from him, but she let it be. “Would you like someone to help you to your rooms? You are, of course, welcome to stay here longer.”

He shook his head and slowly swung his legs over the edge of the bed, leaning his weight against his hands. “No, I’ll be fine.”

“Why don’t you try a few steps first? Check your balance.”

“That’s a very nice way of saying I might be over-estimating myself.” Glorfindel had enough sense of humor to laugh at himself. “And you might be right.”

“I’ve worked with a lot of warriors,” she said dryly, but the corner of her mouth tilted up in a half smile.

He stood up slowly and the room seemed to tilt for a moment, but he took a deep breath and focused on finding his center. Then he took a few steps and was relieved to find he stayed upright and steady. The fuzziness in his head was noticeable though, and he had to concentrate.

“Very good.” Sídhel went back to the medicine cabinet and collected a small pouch, which she then gave to him. “Willow bark and ginger tea, for the headaches. And come to see me in two days, just to check on how you’re doing. If your headaches grow worse, come sooner.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

\-----

The walk from the halls to his rooms on the family wing of the house took longer than usual. He had to go slower and he was stopped several times by different people who had heard the news; he’d noticed living here that the infamous gossip grapevines always had news on him – some of it was even true. He accepted well wishes and graciously dismissed the remarks of concern. But by the time he made it to his room he was exhausted and his head pounded. He closed the door behind him with a sigh of relief.

Celebrían had given him rooms overlooking one of the many gardens around the house. The sounds of the nearby waterfalls were also present and he found it soothing, particularly in the first years of settling in the valley. He had a decently sized bedroom with a big bed and a small washing alcove, and a living area with a table, chairs, a reading nook and a corner for his easel. He decorated simply with shades of blue and touches of green and yellow. There were bookshelves lining the east wall, filled with books from all over Middle-earth and little odds and ends like his chess set, paint supplies and bits of sea glass and local crafts he’d taken a liking to.

He put the tea pouch on the table and went into his bedroom. He stretched out on the bed, only intending to rest his aching head for a few minutes, but soon he fell asleep.

\-----

When he woke, the sun had set and it was well past dinner. He was also not alone. There was candlelight coming from the living area, he could see it from the half open bedroom door. He got up to investigate and was relieved to find his balance was better. He went to the doorway and found Erestor sitting in the reading nook. Candles were lit atop the small chest of drawers and he had a book open on his lap. He looked up when Glorfindel came in the room.

“You missed dinner.” His dark brown eyes were hard to read, his tone mild.

“I overslept. It was a rough day. You missed me at dinner?”

“I noted your absence, yes.” Erestor took one of the bookmarks Glorfindel left all over the place and put it in his book and shut it. “Then I heard this story about you and a horse. I’d ask if you’ve been riding long, but it’d be a bit insensitive, wouldn’t it?”

“Go ahead, I wouldn’t want you to go too easy on me now. And yes, apparently my horse and I parted ways today. Don’t remember much of it, though.” Glorfindel leaned against the table.

“You don’t remember?” Erestor frowned and rose from the nest of cushions. “You must have hit your head very hard then.”

He came over to Glorfindel and stood an arm’s reach away. His eyes swept over Glorfindel, who found it hard to tell what Erestor was thinking, but then he usually had a hard time figuring that out. Lately it had only gotten more complicated.

“Good thing I have such a hard head, eh?”

This just got him an irritated look. “Don’t be silly, head injuries are never good. Where were you hit?”

Glorfindel reached for his hand and guided it up to touch the egg-shaped lump under his blond hair. It forced Erestor to step closer so Glorfindel was near enough to hear the whispered curse as his questing fingers found it and touched around the area carefully.

“Healer says I’ll be fine.”

Erestor refocused his attention from the head injury to Glorfindel himself.  The closeness gave Glorfindel a chance to realize Erestor had a few summer freckles across the bridge of his nose and the tops of his cheeks. Those were new. “Interesting – Elrond said you were on leave for the next few days.”

“The council meeting is in two days and I haven’t finished my reports for it. It’s nice of him, but hardly realistic.” He shrugged, and realized that was a mistake. His head ached with the motion.

“You’d have been fine if you weren’t always so damn late with the paperwork.” Sharp observation of someone he’d worked with for a long time now, but it was said with a hint of warmth as well.

“I’ll pull it together, I always do. Just – with a headache, this time.”

Erestor shook his head and moved away from him, going to the door to the hall. He opened it and Glorfindel protested, “You’re going already?”

“Just give me a moment,” Erestor said and disappeared out the door.

Glorfindel stared after him, but then sighed and went over to the reading nook. He picked up the book Erestor had been reading and recognized it by the cover. It was bound in rich but worn dark orange leather and he had picked it up from one of the trade fairs a couple years ago. Haradrim folk lore from a Gondorian library: he’d always wanted to travel south. It didn’t give him any insight into Erestor’s head, however.

It had been simple enough until recently. They were good friends who worked well together when the situation called for it, and Erestor’s wit and varied life experience coupled with Glorfindel’s eclectic reading habits bound them with easy, interesting conversation. A lot of people wanted to get to know Glorfindel, but for a variety of reasons he didn’t always feel comfortable with this. He didn’t perceive an agenda from Erestor though and tendrils of trust had been slowly growing and strengthening. Everything was fine until a couple of months ago, when a late night in the library had ended very unexpectedly.

There had been a lot of wine, it was supposed to have helped the creative juices as they brainstormed a new supply inventory system for the barracks, and the library was deserted at that late hour. Glorfindel didn’t remember how it started but one moment they were procrastinating and making jokes and pouring more wine and the next moment they were kissing. There was an incredible spark between them and Glorfindel hadn’t felt that strong of an attraction to anyone since before his return to Middle-earth. There was no restraint or going slow, wine and desire flowed thick and hot in their blood and it had been good, very good.  He felt heat just from recalling it.

But they didn’t talk about it, merely donning their clothes and going their separate ways, trying to leave quietly before the early morning staff arrived. It hadn’t seemed to hurt anything, which relieved Glorfindel; he was not inexperienced and knew friendship with sex could be messy. So he’d written it off as a one-off until it happened again, in Erestor’s office, a couple weeks later. And then there was the time in Celebrían’s rose garden, just after sunset while everyone was at dinner, and the time in Glorfindel’s office, just two days ago.

Trying to figure out what was between them had left him with a headache not unlike what he was dealing with now. He supposed they needed to talk, but he didn’t want to up-end the balance or cause a mess. Their friendship was good and he was having some amazing sex. He just had no idea what was going through Erestor’s head, and it was beginning to pull at him.

He heard Erestor’s voice outside the door and went to open it. Erestor swept through with a tray and set it on the table. Glorfindel looked at him, bemused.

“Where did you get that?”

“Well, unlike my floor, your wing has attentive maids serving Elrond and the family. I caught one at just the right time and she gave me a few things for you. This is willow bark, yes?” Erestor looked over his shoulder, holding up the pouch. At Glorfindel’s nod, he said, “Good. I have some hot water to brew it. Your head probably needs it. And there is some fruit and pastries, which isn’t a very good substitute for dinner, but I doubt you want anything heavy right now anyway.”

Glorfindel watched him make the tea. If he didn’t know better, he’d think Erestor was fussing over him. But he was sure he was misreading things – his head was still fuzzy.

“You look like you need to sit down,” Erestor commented. “Or lie down, maybe.”

“That bad, huh?” he laughed. “Must look as great as I feel. I think – lying down is a good idea.”

“You’ve looked better.” He felt Erestor’s eyes on him, dark and considering. “You’ve looked worse, too. Go.”

He didn’t have to be told twice. He went into his bedroom and took his boots off, stripped his clothing off and washed himself. Then he found his oldest, softest pair of pants and shirt to sleep in and changed into those. He sank back into bed with a sigh. Everything ached. He closed his eyes and listened to Erestor’s movements in the living room, his footsteps, the clatter of spoon against mug. He heard him come into the bedroom and felt the mattress shift under his weight.

“Know you want to sleep, but you should drink your tea first. And eat a little something, I don’t think it’s good on an empty stomach. Or at least that’s what Elrond tells me.”

“Could be the proper method or could be him reminding you to stop and eat sometimes.” Glorfindel sat up, resting his back against the headboard. He took the mug of tea from Erestor and sniffed it. He was cautiously optimistic, it didn’t smell vile.

Erestor laughed at him. “Yes, you have experience with healers.”

“Swear it’s a healer’s job description – find a remedy that works but also tastes proportionally as horrid as it is effective.” Glorfindel shrugged and took a healthy gulp of it. He’d had worse, he decided, and Erestor had put a little honey with it.

Erestor pushed a small plate of pastries across the bed towards him. “For when you’re done.” He picked up a pastry himself and ate it delicately, mindful of the flaky crumbs. “You said you can’t remember what happened? What about the rest of your memories?”

“Just seems to be the fall I can’t remember. Remember everything else – within reason, anyway. Even the other night in my office.”

Erestor wasn’t one for blushing, but he did smile. “Well that’s good. Otherwise I’d probably have to help see if we couldn’t jog your memory.”

“I’m not much good for sex right now, though. I’m sorry to disappoint.” As soon as the words were out of his mouth, he knew it was the wrong thing to say. Erestor’s entire body stiffened and his expression hardened as he rose to leave. The easy, comfortable feeling of him being there vanished like mist.

“You’re an idiot, Glorfindel.”

“No, don’t go.” Glorfindel put his mug down on the little bedside table and made to follow him. Erestor was half way out the door and Glorfindel moved like he would have before a major head injury, however his body and head refused to cooperate at that speed and the room tilted dangerously under his feet. He grabbed the bedpost to stop from falling.

The next thing he knew, Erestor was under his arm, supporting him and guiding him back into bed, swearing low but fiercely. “You’re a damn fool too.”

Glorfindel didn’t fight him. He faintly remembered something his mother would say about following the stream instead of fighting it, but he couldn’t remember the particulars now. Erestor was like the Bruinen though, calm in some places, loud and forceful in others and always went where he wanted – you went with him or got out of his way.

Erestor let go of him when he was back in bed, but Glorfindel wouldn’t let him move away, capturing a wrist with his hand. “Stay with me, we need to talk.”

“Glorfindel, you hit your head quite hard, you are in no state to talk.” Erestor’s irritation was clear, and he tugged at Glorfindel’s grasp on his wrist. They both knew if he really wanted to break Glorfindel’s hold, he could.

“Now’s the best time, isn’t it? I’m stuck in a bed, you have the advantage.”

“That’s true, if you insult me again I can always smother you with a pillow.” Erestor’s smile was sharper than normal, Glorfindel wondered if there was a glimmer of hurt underneath it or not.

“Oh, I see, kill me, sneak out and blame it on the fall later? I thought we were friends.”

“We are friends, as I’ll remind everyone who’s listening when they split up your possessions. I should have first choice with your books.”

“That’s very cold, Erestor.” Glorfindel said, fighting back a smile. “And they’d find out we’d been – slightly more complicated than just friends, and you’d be a suspect.”

“No, they wouldn’t. I’m good at keeping secrets when the situation calls for it.”

“Is that what I am? A secret?”

“You’re rather big and very blond. And famous, of course. Awkward secret to try and keep.” A casual shrug of his shoulder followed that observation. He looked less inclined to leave now, and Glorfindel relaxed enough to let go of his wrist.

“You know I don’t like it when the Imladris gossip vine pays attention to my private life and starts speculating on my would-be lovers.”

“You’re well liked and people are curious about you. And the only way to get them to stop is to divert their attention to someone else’s love life.” Erestor said, practical as ever about these things.

“Do they say anything about us?”

“Nothing much,” Erestor paused before adding, “yet, anyway. But we’ve been careful, so you shouldn’t worry about it.”

Glorfindel’s head throbbed again and he reached for the rest of his tea. It had cooled, but the honey Erestor put in tasted sweet on his tongue, lingering almost like a kiss. He finished it all and hoped it would ease some of the pain.

Erestor touched his shoulder. “You’re in no shape to talk, Glor. You need rest. We can talk later, when you feel better.”

Glorfindel opened his mouth to protest but Erestor shushed him with a look. “No. Sleep now. Let the tea do its work. And I’ll come by in the morning to help you with your reports for the council meeting.”

He was like the Bruinen, yes, and Glorfindel was in no condition to fight it. He gave his thanks and Erestor just nodded and took the plate of pastries out as he left. The candles were blown out and he heard the door close. It was not long before Glorfindel fell asleep.

\-----

 Erestor was true to his word and helped him compile all his information into a report that was ready for council. He was very efficient; he’d had lots of practice. They didn’t have a chance to talk about anything much beyond work, as Erestor was involved in many different aspects of the council. As it turned out, Glorfindel didn’t end up presenting anything that day either. Elrond took the report from him and told him, “No, you are on leave.”

Glorfindel protested, but Elrond didn’t budge. So instead of a day spent wrapped up in bureaucratic maneuvering interspersed with moments of sheer boredom, he spent it in one of the small balconies on the family wing with one of his beloved books. He was perfectly positioned in the sunshine, and when the words became blurry and his head hurt, he took a nap.

When they saw each other at dinner, the first words out of Erestor’s mouth were: “You look rested and well-tanned.”

“And you look tired and hard worked.” Glorfindel replied.

Erestor grimaced. “Well, you can blame Elrond for it, he gets these ideas and then someone has to find a way to implement it. You think he’d know by now not to get too creative.”

“I’m sure that’s what they told him when he dreamed up living in this valley.” Glorfindel reached for a bread roll.

“Point made, yes. We need the dreamers and the do-ers.” Erestor passed him the butter. “Your head feeling any better, by the way?”

“A little. I went to one of the healers – her name is Sídhel - and she gave me more willow bark tea and told me the damage shouldn’t be permanent at this stage. May not get the memory back for a while though.”

“There are worse memories to lose. I’m glad you’re all right, even if I was thinking less than charitable thoughts about you skipping council. Couldn’t even pass my notes.”

“Those rude little things perfectly timed to make me laugh at exactly the wrong moment?”

“Well, I like to amuse you. Pass the honey, please.”

“You’re not that selfless – you like seeing if you can make me lose my composure or not.” Glorfindel gave him the honey pot.

Erestor smiled at him cheerfully. “Yes, it’s the gift that gives back twenty fold.”

The only thing Glorfindel could do was shake his head and finish his dinner. Most of the dining hall was finished and people began to clear out. He noticed people looking at them as they passed.

“You going to the Hall of Fire after this?” he asked. “Lindir’s starting a new saga tonight.”

Erestor shook his head. “No, I’m sorry to miss it, but it’s just too much right now.”

“I was hoping we’d get a chance to talk.” Glorfindel said it quietly, under the noise of the dining hall, but Erestor heard him.

He wiped his mouth with a napkin. “Would have me at a disadvantage there, Glor. Not tonight. Another time.” After seeing the look on Glorfindel’s face, he added, “Soon. I promise.”

Glorfindel wasn’t happy with the answer, he felt like he opened a box and was now told not to look at anything inside - he was terrible at that sort of thing. But there was nothing to do but agree. “Another time, yes.”

“Go, listen to Lindir. He tends to be pretty good when he doesn’t go too experimental,” Erestor said with a wry smile.

“I will for a bit. Probably duck out early. Making the most of my leave and sleeping in.”

“Enjoy it while it lasts. Back to the grind with the rest of us soon now your head’s better.” Erestor rose from the table. “Sleep well when you finally make it back to your rooms.”

“Thank you, you too.”

Glorfindel watched him go. He stood out in the crowd, with his dark, glossy hair and his well-tailored  clothes. He remembered what the smooth strands felt like under his fingers, the warm, touchable skin that was underneath the clothes, and Erestor’s mouth, his smile, the way he kissed.

He felt like he was on the edge of something and it would be so easy to fall.

\-----

Glorfindel’s first day back was uneventful and he was glad of it. Everyone welcomed him back and he was pleased to find the barracks properly organized and training and drills had continued smoothly for the most part in his absence. He had just sat down to look through the ungainly piles of paper on his desk when Erestor knocked on his door.

“Look who the cat dragged in,” Glorfindel grinned. “Come, save me, give me a reason not to do work.”

“Oh, you’re avoiding work? I suppose I should just turn right around then. Wouldn’t want to get in the way.” Erestor said it with a straight face, but his eyes laughed for him.

“Erestor.”

Erestor considered him for a moment, then drew up a chair by the desk. He also unsubtly moved a stack of papers over so he had a clearer view of Glorfindel’s face. It was very cat-like behavior, and Glorfindel caught himself wondering if he’d push it off the desk entirely. Of course, the last time the papers were pushed off and onto the floor was when he had Erestor naked and sprawled out over the top of that same desk.

“No, don’t look at me like that. You wanted to talk, remember?”

Glorfindel flushed a little. “Sorry, I was just – distracted.”

Erestor smiled. “Yes, I could tell. What do you want to talk about, exactly?”

 “I want to talk about us and what we’re doing.” Glorfindel made himself focus on the topic at hand.

Erestor raised a dark eyebrow at him. “Conversing pleasantly in your office?”

“Oh don’t be difficult, Erestor,” Glorfindel grouched. “You know damn well what I mean. Get us in a room together alone lately and then clothes start coming off and the door gets locked.”

“Usually in that order too,” Erestor said “That’s probably not our smartest move.”

“It’s looking for trouble, yes.”

Erestor leaned back in his chair. “Does that mean you want to stop?”

Glorfindel shook his head. “No, I don’t. We’re good together. It’s – really good.”

“I think so too. I like it. But I don’t know why this means we have to talk about it so urgently. Why are you worried about this?

“I think we need to understand what we are doing, because someone’s feelings could get hurt and it affect our friendship. And I really don’t want that.”

“Someone’s?” Erestor repeated. “Whose?”

“I’m saying hypothetically,” Glorfindel said. “A possibility. And it’s good to be careful, right?”

He felt Erestor watching him, the kind of searching look Glorfindel had seen him use when he was trying to figure out something. “Sometimes. Sometimes you can be too careful, though.”

“I’ve not always been careful enough. Just – don’t want a mess.”

Erestor got up from the chair and went around the desk onto Glorfindel’s side. When Glorfindel frowned up at him, he just smiled. He sat on the desk, directly opposite Glorfindel and leaned his weight on his hands beside him. Glorfindel couldn’t help but be aware of how much closer they were.

“What happened? Something’s bothering you, it couldn’t just be us. We’re having great sex, our friendship is fine, and it hasn’t affected our work together.”

“Not yet,” Glorfindel said, but he was smiling. “I’m not sure Elrond would be happy about the fraternization, though.”

“What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him.” Erestor said breezily. “Now tell me, what are you so worried about?”

“I’ve – had a misunderstanding with someone before. Just wanted really different things. I was starting to have some feelings, and he was more interested in being able to say he slept with the Balrog Slayer, the elf returned from across the sea.” He tried to say it neutrally, without any of the lingering hurt.

It didn’t entirely work, the way Erestor’s expression softened showed this. “When was this? You didn’t tell me.”

“It wasn’t terribly long after I came to Imladris, and we weren’t very close then. And I know now it was less about him and more about me being very lonely. But he was very proud of what he’d accomplished and told his friends and you know how the gossip works around here. It got back to me.”

There was quiet in the office now, Erestor absorbing this information and Glorfindel remembering that day and what it felt like. The dinner bell clanged loudly and they could hear people dispersing.

Finally Erestor asked, “Are you worried about me doing that?”

Glorfindel pulled himself back from the memory and looked up at him. “No, I don’t think you would do that, I know you better than I did him and – that’s not how you are.”

Erestor touched his cheek, thumb brushing against his cheekbone. “Good,” he said softly. “I would never do that to you.”

Glorfindel leaned into the touch like a flower leans toward sunshine. Their eyes connected, for a beat, and Erestor’s glance fell to his mouth. Glorfindel’s lips parted slightly in anticipation of a kiss. Then Erestor shook his head suddenly and the moment was broken.

“No, you said you wanted to talk. That does not lead to talking.”

“I’m sure one kiss wouldn’t hurt,” Glorfindel protested. He wanted that moment back, the excitement blooming in his chest again.

“No, not even one. We’ve never just kissed. You don’t want your papers on the floor again, Glor, really. Even if they don’t look particularly organized now.”

“They are organized perfectly well, I know where everything is.” Glorfindel retorted.

Erestor snorted. It spoke louder than any words he could say on the subject.

“I just – want to know where the lines are, I guess.” Glorfindel said. “We haven’t even had sex in a proper bed yet. I didn’t know if that’s because we wanted it casual or that was a line right there.”

“We’ve not made it to a bed yet because we have really good chemistry and we’ve not been very patient, though if we’d kept on like that, I’d have started to wonder,” Erestor said, shrugging his shoulders. “But I didn’t know if I was overstepping the other night by staying in your room and waiting for you to wake up.”

“No, I was glad to see you. I appreciated you fussing over me a bit too, it made me feel better.”

“What fussing? I don’t fuss over people.” Erestor made a face. “Oh, that reminds me, congratulations on being an asshole. Assuming I was only there for sex  – really, Glorfindel?”

“I hit my head really hard! I didn’t know what you were expecting and I didn’t want to disappoint you.”

“Well, I’m not that desperate or insensitive. I heard you were hurt and I wanted to see if you were all right. I’m allowed to be concerned, aren’t I? We’re friends.” 

“I’m sorry, I really didn’t mean it like that,” Glorfindel apologized, a mixture of sheepishness and contrition colouring his words. “And I knew it was bad. I wished I hadn’t said anything.”

“When you mess up you don’t go half way,” Erestor observed.

“I know, that’s why I’m trying to be careful. Don’t want to mess this up.”

“What’s the worst that could happen, Glor?” Erestor reminded him again of a cat with his intent curiosity.

Glorfindel just shook his head.

“No, come now, we’ve made it this far. Tell me.”

A moment passed, a silent exchange of wills, before Glorfindel took a deep breath and then said, “I could care about you beyond friends with ….extras. I know myself, I could want more than what you’re prepared to give. Situations like that don’t end well, it dissolves into a lot of unpleasantness and if that happened, the way things are right now with you and I – the way it’s easy, the way it’s good – would be gone.”

“That would be horrible.” The weight of it showed on Erestor’s face, the unhappy down turn of his mouth. “I like us.”

“Me too.” Glorfindel rested a hand on Erestor’s thigh, just above his knee. “It’s why I’m fussing a little. But you’ve not told me what you want in all of this. That’s not very fair.”

“Me?” Erestor asked, eyebrows raised. “I’m not as complicated as you. Or as prone to over-thinking.”

“Then prove it.” Glorfindel said challengingly.

Erestor shrugged his shoulders. “You don’t want to push me, it doesn’t end well - don’t you remember trying to out-drink me?”

“No, I don’t. It’s like falling off the horse, my head doesn’t want to remember what hurt it so much.”

Erestor threw back his head and laughed, a warm, pleased sound that Glorfindel wanted to hear more often. “Well, should have learned your lesson there.”

“Sometimes I’m bad at that, you should be warned.”

“This doesn’t surprise me, somehow.”

Glorfindel started to object, but Erestor held up his hand and he quieted. “I don’t want to scare you off, I’ve noticed before that you were reserved and I was really surprised that night in the library. I wasn’t expecting it to happen like that.”

This left Glorfindel with more questions than answers, but he reminded himself firmly to keep his mouth shut and listen to Erestor.

“I like you. I noticed you when you first arrived, of course, and yes, you were – are - famous. But I’ve gotten to know you better outside of that. You’re kind, thoughtful, and have good taste in books...” At Glorfindel’s laugh, he raised an eyebrow. “What? That’s important. Anyway, I was surprised at how it came about because it was something I wanted, but I didn’t know if you were open to that.”

“I didn’t realize how much I wanted it until that happened. It surprised me too.” Glorfindel said slowly, his mind working through what Erestor was saying.

“We’ve been flirting for a while, though.”  And they had. There'd been a great deal of low-key flirtatious banter, particularly in their time spent together outside of work. But there was no pressure with it, and Glorfindel hadn’t been sure before the library that it was headed for a particular destination.

“There’s flirting and then there’s my hand in your leggings and you telling me what you’d like me to do to you.”

Erestor smiled, a deep one, showing his strong, white teeth. “But then you did it so well.”

Glorfindel felt his cheeks flush, but he squared his shoulders and lifted his chin. “Yes, I did.”

Erestor’s smile faded, and he grew serious. “I’m not afraid of feelings between us, Glor. We should give them space and see what happens. The reward’s worth the risk.”

“You’re willing to bet on it?” Glorfindel asked.

“Yes. And I’ll win,” Erestor said. The way he said it wasn’t braggish or egotistical, just with a quiet surety that made something tight inside Glorfindel’s chest relax.

“Like out-drinking me,” he said lightly.

Erestor nodded. “Yes, like that.”

They looked at each other for a minute, letting everything soak in, until Erestor broke the silence. “I think you should kiss me now.”

Glorfindel smiled. “Oh, you think so?”

“Yes.” Simple and direct – he couldn’t argue with that.

He stood up, and Erestor looked up at him expectantly from where he perched on the desk. They both knew what was going to happen but the balance was still delicate. Glorfindel leaned in and Erestor tilted his head just right. Their lips met in a soft, inquisitive first kiss, not the heat of passion and sex but something else, tender and warm. Arms slide around his neck as he touched Erestor’s waist, pulling him just a little bit closer. The world faded away, the background sounds dimming as his focus sharpened on Erestor, the way he felt in his arms, the steady rise and fall of his chest and the taste of his mouth.

The kiss slowly ended, but they stayed close. Erestor kept his arms around Glorfindel’s neck and leaned against him, his eyes still shut, his lips looking properly kissed. He sighed quietly and then opened his eyes slowly. The look he gave Glorfindel pierced like a knife up between the ribs to his heart.

“I have good ideas,” Erestor said softly.

Glorfindel had trouble finding words for a minute, but eventually he found them. “Yes you do. But I have a few of my own.”

“Oh? Tell me your ideas.” Erestor glanced at him curiously.

“We’re already late to dinner.”

“I noticed this, yes.”

“It’s a lost cause, we should skip it.”

Erestor’s smile grew slowly. “But Glorfindel, what would we do?”

“I can think of a few things.”

Erestor moved against him restlessly. “Here?”

“No, I think we should try something new,” Glorfindel said, thoughtful.

“Oh, I like new things.” Erestor let go of him and almost knocked over a stack of paper. He gave a look of reproach to Glorfindel’s messy desk, but instead of getting defensive Glorfindel let it go. It wasn’t important, not the way this moment between them right now was. “That’s good. Then you won’t mind the walk to my rooms.”

Erestor looked from the papers back to him, giving him his full attention again. His brown eyes sparkled wickedly and he had a small smile on his face. “Oh, you mean we get to try this on a bed?”

“Yes, on a bed.” Glorfindel took a breath and then added, “And I want you to stay the night.”

Erestor grew solemn. “Are you sure you’re ready for that? I’m not going to push you.”

Glorfindel felt a flutter of nerves as he let his guard down, but he knew with Erestor he was safe, that he could be vulnerable. And he wondered what waking up next to Erestor would be like. He shook his head. “I know you aren’t. I want you to.”

Erestor searched his face, but after a moment he nodded, content with Glorfindel’s sincerity. “All right. But Glorfindel?”

Glorfindel glanced around his office to make sure there wasn’t anything urgent that he was forgetting. “Mmm?”

“If we’re going to do this, you’re going to have to make a habit of staying on your horse. I was really worried.” He said it lightly and with humor, but there was an unmistakable seriousness to him as well.

Glorfindel leaned over, kissed him again gently and smiled. Hand on heart he promised: “I will do my best. But you’d better also have a word with my horse.”

**Author's Note:**

> Special thanks to Keiliss, who beta'd this story very, very last minute. She did a fantastic job as the Voice of Calm Sanity when I really needed it.


End file.
